Joy

Joy.

After losing my dear Abigail and feeling that depth of grief, I honestly wasn't sure how I would be able to smile again.  Once I was able to smile again, I wasn't sure how I would be joyful again.  Sitting here, I realize that joy remained and as I reflect on the last couple of months, I know how it was ever possible.

How can I feel sadness but also have joy?  I feel sadness because I miss my Abigail but I have joy because I know who God is to me.  

God's word tells us that joy is a choice and we should not be moved by our trials.  I had never gone through a trial like this that had truly tested me until now.  This is how I know that joy is something we find in Christ.  Some days I think it's crazy.  Seriously, crying mid day but feeling joyful throughout.  It certainly looks crazy.

Sometimes it's difficult to not let our circumstances steal us of our joy, especially when horrible things happen to us and we feel like our world is coming down around us.  I'm not going to tell you that I didn't have days where it felt like my world was crumbling down around me.  I had those days.  I had days where I would wake up crying and fall asleep crying.  I had that feeling in the pit of my stomach that would wake me up at night only to cry some more.  I cried out to God.  I wanted answers.  Some answers, I now have but others I don't.  I was angry but I wasn't angry with God.  I didn't blame Him.  But through it all, I had HOPE.  My hope and joy remained, even in my darkest days.  I know that this was only possible because of my relationship with Christ.  I know who He is and who He is to me and because of that, I was able to keep my joy through it all.

It's almost indescribable.  How good is our God that He equips us with what we need in this life?  So good!

Joy is a choice.  Happiness is a feeling.  May we always choose joy.

Psalm 16:11, ESV
You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If you are reading this and have gone through something similar or have experienced any kind of grief, I am praying for you.

Heavenly Father.  I thank you for the dear person reading this.  I thank you that you love them unconditionally and that your love is so great.  I pray that you bless them abundantly as they grieve.  I pray for good people to be sent to them to lift them up and share your word and love with them.  I pray that they are able to choose joy and hold onto hope in you knowing that you are their constant.  I command any chains that are holding them back to be broken, in Jesus name.  Thank you for your love and for healing their heart.  In Jesus' name I pray, amen.